Why do I crave for direction?

Its a fundamental question. Why? Does direction make my life more certain? Is this my way of craving certainty?

Sometimes, to find or develop direction feels meaningless like a life wasted. Should I bother?

Without direction, I will be lost, unfocused with perhaps no love or life or money or whatever that is valued.

When there is no direction, there is still some direction? Where does that come from? Do I have it? Am I waiting for it?

I don’t mean to make this some philosophical babble. If you have been in this place or are in this place with me, you will know what I mean. This is a big problem I have or perhaps there is no problem because there is no need to have direction.

I really don’t know.

Mull. Mull. Mull.